Ballast (from Merriam Webster Dictionary):
- heavy substance (such as rocks or water) placed in such a way as to improve stability and control
- something that gives stability (as in character or conduct)
I began thinking about the word ballast in late 2024. Well, specifically since the early morning hours of November 5, 2024, when enough votes had been counted to make it official.
I have had recurring dreams for as long as I can remember. Dreams in which I am either on a ferry boat or a large ship and the seas are rough. Wild. Waves fifteen to twenty feet tall crashing onto the deck. The boat is at the mercy of the ocean. It tilts so I see only sky. It tilts the other way, and I see only the dark roiling water. I always lose my balance, gripping the railing, falling into the waves. I am at the mercy of the ocean. It is too big. I am too small. I cannot steady the ship. I cannot calm the sea.
The morning of November 5, 2024, felt much like those dreams. It also felt a lot like being kicked in the teeth by my fellow countrymen, but for the sake of the metaphor, we’ll stick with the similarity being the loss of control I feel in my dreams and the loss of control I feel over the choices the U.S. collective has made for how it wants to be governed. I knew immediately I could not approach these next four years the way in which I approached first term. I could not be tossed about by the – hourly – daily drama, conjecture, hyperbole, punditry, conspiracies, accusations, corruption, nonsense, shouting, pearl-clutching (from all sides). Wave after wave after endless wave. I couldn’t drown in it again.
Fool me once. Etc. Etc. Etc.
Creativity gives me ballast. Always has. Always will. Writing, in particular. Fiction, specifically (though I occasionally dabble in personal essay, prose poetry, and erasure poetry). I also love a good collage session and have started to play with acrylic pour painting.
This blog is one of the many steps I took to steady myself – my ship, so to speak – as I set my bearings heading 2025 and beyond. If I’m honest, I needed a reason to (re)prioritize my creative life. Resistance has always motivated me. I will resist with creativity. That resistance will give me purpose. Purpose will give me direction. Direction will answer the question: what do I do next?
This blog is as much for me as it is for you, dear reader. A way to hold myself accountable. A platform on which I show up for my art and in doing so resist a political and social climate that wants to distract, disorient, and overwhelm. It is also an invitation to you. Join me. Create your own ballast of creativity to steady yourself in these uncertain times (also, let’s be honest, all times are uncertain, aren’t they?). Here I will offer (at least once a week, but sometimes more often) questions and prompts to inspire your own creative expression. I will share my own creative explorations. I will sometimes be specifically political, but not often (it matters what wolf you feed, after all).
If you want to know more about me, see the ABOUT page.
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If you want to get started right away, grab your pen and notebook and free write for ten minutes (set a timer) in response to these two prompts:
- Steadiness feels like…
- To steady myself today, I need…
Let’s steady ourselves, shall we?
Ballast 